By Chelsea Handler
While Chelsea Handler must get a couple of issues off her chest, she appeals to a better power—vodka. turns out moderate, whilst due to the fact she chanced on her boyfriend was once having an affair with a Peekapoo and she or he needed to fake to be honeymooning along with her father with a purpose to improve to firstclass. Welcome to Chelsea’s world—a position the place absurdity reigns splendid and a brief wit is the easiest line of defense..
In this hugely wonderful, deliciously skewed assortment, Chelsea mines her prior for tales approximately her relations, relationships, and profession which are right now singular and ridiculous. no matter if she’s convincing her third-grade type that she has been selected to play Goldie Hawn’s daughter within the sequel to Private Benjamin, determining to be extra egalitarian by way of relationship a redhead, or looking for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little one who seems similar to her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for purchasing herself into the main outrageous occasions.
Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and impossible to resist turns of word that experience made her one of many most up to date voices in comedy today...
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Additional info for Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
She upped the quantity one other couple of decibels and stated, “My brothers and sisters imagine I don’t desire the money due to my screenplay, however the truth of the problem is (long, dramatic pause)…I most likely won’t see that cash for months. ” I couldn’t wait to work out who used to be going to chunk the bullet and ask her approximately that one. each person aside from Six pretended like they have been taking a look at their menus. Ivory is superb at tuning issues out and used to be doing simply that. Lydia used to be coughing into her lap, and that i used to be smiling so not easy my cheeks began to shake. “I be aware of, i do know, it’s all so dramatic,” Aubrey acknowledged with a wave of her hand in line with nobody. “I can’t think you wrote a screenplay,” Six exclaimed. “I’m an actress! ” “Really? ” I requested. “Do you have got, like, a monologue or whatever lets see? ” Ivory works in tv. Ivory pretended to not pay attention me and endured the menu. “Ivory,” I acknowledged loudly, “Six is an actress. ” “Anyway! ” Aubrey used to be now screaming, for worry the subject of dialog could stream directly to another person. “It’s the adaptation among like 3 million and ten million money, so i would like to ensure i am getting my justifiable share! ” “Let’s open provides! ” Ivory exclaimed. “Okay, ok, okay,” Aubrey answered grudgingly, as though we have been begging her to open provides for the previous 3 hours. The waitress walked over and all of us ordered. “Let’s now not fail to remember a section of cake on the finish for the birthday girl,” I advised her. Ivory regarded in my course with an unsettlingly calm gaze on her face. “Open mine first,” she acknowledged to Aubrey, nonetheless looking at me pointedly whereas handing Aubrey a small field. “Seriously, you men, you didn't have to get me something. ” “Oh, bollocks! ” Six interjected. “I’m sorry, are you British? ” Ivory requested her. “No, yet I simply received again from England and that i love, love, enjoyed it! ” Aubrey entire unwrapping Ivory’s current to find the exact same move that Ivory had gotten from our buddy Morgan months prior. “Oh my God, this can be appealing! I totally love it,” Aubrey stated as she leaned ahead in order that Ivory may well aid her clasp it within the again. Ivory checked out me with a big smile on her face, and Jen used to be wiping her mouth with a napkin—before we were served any meals. Lydia used to be slurping down her 3rd glass of wine and was once too preoccupied with Six’s ponytail to gain what was once occurring. It used to be a laugh to me that Ivory proposal she had pulled one over on Aubrey and that we have been all pawns in her little video game of re-gifting. Little did she recognize who will be getting the final snort this night. Six took her current off the pile subsequent. Aubrey opened it to discover a basket of lotion and bathtub oils. Lotion and tub oils are the main impersonal present you should purchase somebody, that is why it’s excellent that after she opened Jen’s current subsequent, it used to be one other basket of lotion and tub oils. This used to be getting stable. “Oh, how humorous! ” Six exclaimed, clapping her arms jointly. She reached for my current, yet I knew persistence used to be a advantage and that quickly i used to be going to have my second within the solar.